SirCockConnoisseur

Long time no see you fucking degenerates! though it's only been the better part of 4 months since I ventured out to the cornershop for a pack of condoms and never returned, it's felt like a bloody lifetime for yours truly, and I'll tell you why. All that porn started to send me down a very dark road chaps, I began to like pump my meat to exceedingly more twisted and self esteem destroying types of content, nothing that would interest scotland yard I'm happy to say, managed to avoid that pitfall at the very least, still though it become all but impossible to look myself in the mirror, there was never much good to see in the first place i grant you but I'm talking more my self perception here. As you can imagine the prospective of humorously reviewing porn became rather unappealing when i was in the midst of my own personal filth crisis, I'm thrilled to say that I'm doing a much better now though, and I'm going start tentatively getting back into the swing of things, because for all the pitfalls of the hub, I really do love criticising other people when they're fucking.

My two hundredth and thirty ninth review is up, check it out below
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=67bf4b325a384
The Ukraine war was inevitable, not due to historical sentiment, the geopolitical shitshow that is Russia's relationship with it's neighbours, or any other such mundane reason so often peddled by those supposedly in the know. No, putin inflicted this foul conflict upon Ukraine due to one very specific event that happened in 2022, an event so monumental that had he not invaded in a desperate attempt to compensate, his tenure as tsar would have ended in shame ignominy, what was the event? His cock stopped working. It shouldn't be a surprise really, despite supposedly being a teetotaller, and therefore avoiding the vodka fuelled epidemic of sexual inadequacy so common amongst his fellows, he's 70 after all, and at that age taking viagra is like electrocuting a semi fresh fish , it might make the fucker flop around a bit, but he's not coming back to life. If only putin could've been made aware that his army was as flacid as he was, then maybe he would've stuck to advertising hair care products. Rating 9.5/10

My two hundredth and thirty eighth review is up, check it out below
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=646fe0299ac3e
As I watch this man's soul be pilfered through the very tip of his cock, and subsequently devoured by the cerulean eyed vixen perched between his legs, my mind cannot help but gravitate towards thoughts of her most illustrious (infamous) predecessor, Littleoralandie. Andie was truly truly the premier throat goat of her time, inhaling cock with an ardent fervour rivaled only by your average obese american eating a mars bar, she was a true maestro of the skin flute, one of the few people on this earth accomplished enough to grade smegma as the French do with Camembert. Alas however all good things must come to an end, and the jealousy of her partner (producer) eventually led andie to terminate her channel, and leave her vaunted title up for grabs, and though none have claimed it as such yet, I've a feeling it will be only a matter of time. Apologies for extended absence, connoisseur out. Rating: 8/10

My two hundredth and thirty seventh review is up, check it out below
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=68b0556545ea6
Our collective attention span has atrophied at a truly astonishing rate since 2007, that was the year the first iphone was released to the public, in case you didn't know that bit of tivia, not that I blame Apple mind you, it's not like us keyboard gremlins made much of an effort to fight our transition into the hopeless spunk goblins we became, is it? No we've only ourselves to blame really, the creators of mind rotting platforms like tiktok might be laughing their arses off on the way to the bank, however if you degenerates wanted to be capable of stringing more than two words together without drooling, then all you had to do was not use the bloody platform. You're probably wondering why I just went on that little tirade, it's because I've noticed a lot of our favourite smut peddlers have begun tailoring their content to appeal to our generations peculiarities, by making the run time of their content ridiculously fucking long, they seem intimately aware that you fuckers are incapable of watching more than 30 seconds of a video before skipping significant parts, and if the total runtime is only 20-30 minutes, then you soon reach the end and move on to something else entirely, depriving these creators of engagement and any chance of viewer retention. In the case of the video we're reviewing today this isn't the end of the world, she's frankly superb and I couldn't get enough all the way through, but if I have to sit through more than an hour of content each time I pen one of my reviews, then you'll be waiting even more time in between uploads, give me a break lads, yeah? Connoisseur out. Rating: 7/10

My two hundredth and thirty sixth review is up, check it out below or in the comments section
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=667c0f00d8b18
I adore this offering, however as a devoted pc player I can't help but be a little disappointed at the choice of gaming accessory she's using for her pussy excavation, nothing can plumb the vaginal depths quite like a wooting keyboard after all, and though the PS5 controllers vibration could give the 2011 earthquake a run for its money, she clearly didn't make use of it here. Still good shite though, connoisseur tug approved. Rating 9/10

My two hundredth and thirty fifth review is up, check it out below
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=68af7dd48ed68
Fear not lads! Unlike the fathers of some of our most accomplished smut starlets, I have no intention of disappearing forever after nipping down to the corner shop for an 8 pack of Irn-Bru, my absences may be egregiously long at times, usually when life or my own piss poor luck get in the way, however they will never be permanent, and that's a connoisseur guarante. Truthfully lads, the online safety act has made filth browsing an absolute chore here in the UK, half the time my VPN seems to be on the fritz and I have no end of trouble trying to access the good stuff, it's difficult to find a solid video to review when I'm being asked to prove my age every bloody minute, I wish to no end that I could teabag every single one of the fuckers that drafted this ridiculous law. You chaps would be doing me a massive favour if you could send some more recommendations, browsing the hub is truly torturous for us brits at the moment, and i would appreciate the help, just use the link at the top of my profile and send me an email, I review all videos my fellow degenerates suggest I do, thanks again lads, connoisseur out. Rating: 7.5/10